// The World we Live In
A World of Noise and Pain
There are fewer things more irritating at five thirty in the morning than the experience of being rudely awoken by the shrill insistent sound of a car alarm in the street outside.
Things that are more irritating include having the same car alarm being allowed by its owners to continue more or less constantly until about six forty-five.
But an even more irritating experience than that is having all of this go on and then having a nearby flock of wild parakeets take exception to the noise and begin competing with it.
So, given that I am in rather desperate need of beauty sleep at the moment anyway, I currently wish all people who have car alarms a big healthy dose of syphilis and eternal damnation.
You utter, utter bastards.
Posted on August 7, 2008 | Filed Under My So-Called Life, The World we Live In | 0 Comments
An Odd Competitive Streak
It seems that Boots are now stocking both Female and Male fertility testing kits, which is a development I find somewhat surprising I must say.
What’s worse though is that despite having no interest whatsoever in procreating (or children generally if I’m honest) there’s a part of me that’s now wondering how I’d come out.
Is this just my inner self-loather trying to find another stick to beat myself with or am I developing a competitive streak: “hah! I’m hugely fertile and no you can’t have any!”
I worry myself I really do.
Posted on July 28, 2008 | Filed Under My So-Called Life, The World we Live In | 0 Comments
Small Miracles
Do you know, it never ceases to amaze me just how many people - well, ladies actually - can be found of a morning sitting on the bus or tube putting their make-up on - and, more specifically, eye make-up to boot.
Given the quality of London’s streets and the devil-may-care attitude of some of the bus drivers I have experienced I think it’s really quite surprising that more eyepatches aren’t on display in the City.
Posted on July 25, 2008 | Filed Under The World we Live In | 0 Comments
Legalised Rape?
Those of you familiar with the work of Terry Pratchett will be aware that in his discworld novels the city of Ankh-Morpork has clevery managed to control crime by, essentially, unionising criminals. If you’re not a member of said union you can’t for example, kill anyone or be a pickpocket or a “seamstress” (”they call them seamstresses… hem-hem”).
All of which works mightily well, apparently, and explains why this morning, on visiting the BBC news page I had to stifle more than a small snigger at the headline I saw there:
Call for specialist rape squads.
Er…
Posted on July 9, 2008 | Filed Under The World we Live In | 0 Comments
Russell The Davies, OBE
So, the man himself, Russell T. Davies, has been awarded an OBE in the Queen’s Birthday Honours List.
Now inevitably there’s a certain amount of grumbling about the honours list anyway, and there’s a certain amount of muttering along the lines of “well, he’s only brought back Doctor Who, how does that qualify him for an honour?” but I think he more than deserves this award for service to television and culture over the last twenty-odd years.
Who notwithstanding, he’s the creator of the groundbreaking series Queer as Folk which I had the pleasure of watching again recently and, with the shock value of some of its scenes long since gone, found I was just blown away by the writing. The warmth and the humour and - frankly - brilliant characterisation made me fall in love with it all over again. It’s a stunning bit of writing and well worth a re-viewing if you get the chance.
And then there’s its cultural impact which still resonates to this day.
Then there’s the quality of his other work. I have yet to see many of his other series, but two of his early works “Dark Season” and “Century Falls” had me gripped by Children’s BBC when technically I was way outgrowing it. The former clearly showed he wanted to write Doctor Who, but both also proved that kids could easily handle, nay love, proper drama at a time when the industry believed it was going out of fashion.
If anything I think its these two series that made me realise I wanted to write too.
He’s never written down to kids this one - look at “the Flashing Blade” and “Breakfast Serials” too for further proof - and I do believe that’s vitally important.
His New Doctor Who Adventures novel “Damaged Goods” is something I’ve also picked up again recently and that too is a brilliant - if very dark and, at times, harrowing - read, but also contains seeds that will be familiar to any New Series fans. (Council Estate, with sassy Girl, dark Time Lord, gays a go-go, war machine from an unseen war appearing on earth and so on…)
To see Russell talk about television is too be overawed by his intelligence, his rigour and - above all - his amazing enthusiasm for the medium. It’s always heady stuff and fires me up every time.
And then he’s effectively created a proper Welsh television industry, turning it from a small regional operation into a major powerhouse of drama. And if that doesn’t deserve an OBE I don’t know what does.
The man’s, frankly, brilliant and - despite my occasional problems with his plot decisions on Who - I love him to bits. Well done Russell, it’s an award I think is richly deserved.
Posted on June 14, 2008 | Filed Under Film and Television, The World we Live In | 1 Comment
Closed Language Systems
A closed language system is an interesting thing. You almost certainly use one yourself: it’s basically the phenomenon whereby people in a social group somehow understand each other despite the fact that what they’re saying doesn’t actually *mean* anything and yet somehow (and often against all the odds) you figure out rapidly what that person means.
Case in point - and my aunt really is a master of this sort of statement - “oh, can you go and get me the thingy”.
I’ve lost count of the number of times I have stared blankly at her and tried to figure out what the thing could possibly be, and yet somehow I usually arrive at the right decision and respond accordingly.
Of course, you could sit there and go “well, if she’s about to whisk eggs then she’d logically want you to get the egg whisk” but that’s not quite it. Because my aunt’s mental processes are very rarely routed in whatever’s happening at the time, the context is never immediately apparent. She could just as easily want me to get a screwdriver or an iPod or whatever.
It’s quite an art.
This morning my flatmate demonstrated a knowledge of me which indicates that we too have a genuinely closed language system. Prior to leaving for work he had cause - from a completely different room in the house - to decode a vocalisation of mine which showed he had precisely located the likely events which would lead me to make such a noise.
The noise in question - let loose as I rummaged in my bag looking for my work door pass - can only be expressed in letters as “wuh-hurghh!”
After which there was a noticeable flurry of activity and pause, after which a voice drifted along the hallway from the front room with the simple enquiry: “spider?”
He was spot on.
It seems spider season has begun. Gah!
Posted on June 2, 2008 | Filed Under My So-Called Life, The World we Live In | 0 Comments
Sensitive Reporting
You would have thought, given the unthinkably unpleasant nature of the case of the murder of James Hughes and his mother - a tragic case which already beggars belief and we don’t know the half of it - that it would get some sensitive reporting by the UK press, wouldn’t you?
Apparently not if you are The Sun, however.
Their headline today reads “Murder of the Man Boy” which I think shows a staggering lack of intelligence on the part of whoever came up with it really. I was completely stunned when I saw it earlier.
The Sun really is staffed by dickheads isn’t it? It used to be the case that only Victoria Newton was Bizarre, now it seems to be the whole bally bunch of them.
Posted on April 24, 2008 | Filed Under The World we Live In | 0 Comments
All the Misery in the World
Standing in WH Smith’s Queue of Eternity on Saturday (loading up with envelopes and Torchwood magazine - I’m still cut up about Tosh) the flatmate and I were stunned to realise that the Non Fiction section we were standing next to featured not one, not two, but seven true-life stories of child-abuse in the top ten.
I mean… seven! All of which had a picture of a child and a sort of handwriting-ey-esque font on the cover and titles like “Please Don’t Tell Mummy”, “Our Little Secret”, “A Broken Child” and so on.
So, please tell me, British book-buying public… what the hell is the matter with you? How much of other people’s misery do you feel the need to consume? Is this something you have to do to make your own lives seem better or are you just deeply morbidly inclined?
Thankfully Bill Bryson’s entertaining dissection of the life of Shakespeare was number one so I guess there’s hope yet, but honestly…
Posted on April 23, 2008 | Filed Under The World we Live In | 3 Comments
Extended Fallout
This happened within about three minutes walk of my house.
I have to say - condolences to the family of the woman concerned aside, because obviously it’s a ghastly thing to happen to anyone - that what I’m mainly stunned by is how long an accident involving one person can completely screw the transport infrastructure.
Even at 2300 hours traffic was unable to pass along Brixton High Street in one direction.
I shudder to think how bad it must have been to take that long to clear up.
Ugh.
Posted on April 23, 2008 | Filed Under The World we Live In | 0 Comments
Religious Zeal
I have for some time been a little concerned with the number of ladies (and strangely enough it is always ladies) on the 133 who, immediately upon sitting down, open up their capacious handbags - we’re talking Mary Poppins’ carpet bag here - and pull out a beautifully bound, but clearly well thumbed bible and begin to read it avidly on the daily commute.
I mean… admittedly it’s beautifully written (well, the King James Version is a perfect example of measured and carefully crafted English) but beyond Revelations, which is great blood-and-thunder type stuff, it’s not exactly a riveting read. So, instantly - and possibly a little unfairly - I assume they are religious nutjobs and begin wondering if I start thinking enough dirty thoughts about… oh, I dunno… Chace Crawford, then they might pick up on it and move quickly away.
But today I think my concern may be developing into an actual deep-rooted dislike of such ladies. Today, whilst I was idly enjoying the BWO singles collection “Pandemonium” - and very good it is too - some lady sat on the seat to my left and promptly pulled out what was undoubtedly a bible-shaped book. So I did my usual thing: I internally rolled my eyes (it’s a good trick) and ignored her.
It was only when I realised she was getting the occasional funny look from those around me that I noticed her arms flailing, book in hand and, as one track finished, became awfully aware that she was actually preaching - haltingly and repetitively - at us all.
Thankfully she was blotted out by a burst of “Give Me the Night” at this point but shortly afterwards she got up and started handing round leaflets - one of which I graciously declined - before going upstairs to do, presumably, exactly the same thing there.
I felt a little irked I must say. I don’t mind what religious people do - as long as it’s behind closed doors and they don’t hurt anyone - but she was breaking the first commandment of commuting: namely that you do not attempt to make even eye-contact let alone verbal or physical with any other passenger unless there happens to have been a major accident or a delay of longer than five minutes.
Someone should have words with her, I tell you. (But not me, obviously, I’m far too repressed and English.)
Posted on April 15, 2008 | Filed Under The World we Live In | 0 Comments