// The World we Live In
Sensitive Reporting
You would have thought, given the unthinkably unpleasant nature of the case of the murder of James Hughes and his mother - a tragic case which already beggars belief and we don’t know the half of it - that it would get some sensitive reporting by the UK press, wouldn’t you?
Apparently not if you are The Sun, however.
Their headline today reads “Murder of the Man Boy” which I think shows a staggering lack of intelligence on the part of whoever came up with it really. I was completely stunned when I saw it earlier.
The Sun really is staffed by dickheads isn’t it? It used to be the case that only Victoria Newton was Bizarre, now it seems to be the whole bally bunch of them.
Posted on April 24, 2008 | Filed Under The World we Live In | 0 Comments
All the Misery in the World
Standing in WH Smith’s Queue of Eternity on Saturday (loading up with envelopes and Torchwood magazine - I’m still cut up about Tosh) the flatmate and I were stunned to realise that the Non Fiction section we were standing next to featured not one, not two, but seven true-life stories of child-abuse in the top ten.
I mean… seven! All of which had a picture of a child and a sort of handwriting-ey-esque font on the cover and titles like “Please Don’t Tell Mummy”, “Our Little Secret”, “A Broken Child” and so on.
So, please tell me, British book-buying public… what the hell is the matter with you? How much of other people’s misery do you feel the need to consume? Is this something you have to do to make your own lives seem better or are you just deeply morbidly inclined?
Thankfully Bill Bryson’s entertaining dissection of the life of Shakespeare was number one so I guess there’s hope yet, but honestly…
Posted on April 23, 2008 | Filed Under The World we Live In | 3 Comments
Extended Fallout
This happened within about three minutes walk of my house.
I have to say - condolences to the family of the woman concerned aside, because obviously it’s a ghastly thing to happen to anyone - that what I’m mainly stunned by is how long an accident involving one person can completely screw the transport infrastructure.
Even at 2300 hours traffic was unable to pass along Brixton High Street in one direction.
I shudder to think how bad it must have been to take that long to clear up.
Ugh.
Posted on April 23, 2008 | Filed Under The World we Live In | 0 Comments
Religious Zeal
I have for some time been a little concerned with the number of ladies (and strangely enough it is always ladies) on the 133 who, immediately upon sitting down, open up their capacious handbags - we’re talking Mary Poppins’ carpet bag here - and pull out a beautifully bound, but clearly well thumbed bible and begin to read it avidly on the daily commute.
I mean… admittedly it’s beautifully written (well, the King James Version is a perfect example of measured and carefully crafted English) but beyond Revelations, which is great blood-and-thunder type stuff, it’s not exactly a riveting read. So, instantly - and possibly a little unfairly - I assume they are religious nutjobs and begin wondering if I start thinking enough dirty thoughts about… oh, I dunno… Chace Crawford, then they might pick up on it and move quickly away.
But today I think my concern may be developing into an actual deep-rooted dislike of such ladies. Today, whilst I was idly enjoying the BWO singles collection “Pandemonium” - and very good it is too - some lady sat on the seat to my left and promptly pulled out what was undoubtedly a bible-shaped book. So I did my usual thing: I internally rolled my eyes (it’s a good trick) and ignored her.
It was only when I realised she was getting the occasional funny look from those around me that I noticed her arms flailing, book in hand and, as one track finished, became awfully aware that she was actually preaching - haltingly and repetitively - at us all.
Thankfully she was blotted out by a burst of “Give Me the Night” at this point but shortly afterwards she got up and started handing round leaflets - one of which I graciously declined - before going upstairs to do, presumably, exactly the same thing there.
I felt a little irked I must say. I don’t mind what religious people do - as long as it’s behind closed doors and they don’t hurt anyone - but she was breaking the first commandment of commuting: namely that you do not attempt to make even eye-contact let alone verbal or physical with any other passenger unless there happens to have been a major accident or a delay of longer than five minutes.
Someone should have words with her, I tell you. (But not me, obviously, I’m far too repressed and English.)
Posted on April 15, 2008 | Filed Under The World we Live In | 0 Comments
Crippling Pedantry
There are times when being such an appalling pedantasist (go on, it’s wide open for you) takes you dangerously close to being on the receiving end of some actual bodily harm.
For example, on Tuesday night as I queued outside the cash machine I found myself being vaguely irked by the sign in a Whorephone Carhouse window which advertised the fact that the “all new iPod’s” were in. I found myself wanting to go in and complain about this sign, but since I get stared at blankly by the staff in these places when I even ask for something as obscure as a new phone, so I thought better of it on the grounds that the finer points of grammar may cause some kind of seizure.
And you don’t want to be responsible for that sort of thing do you?
So anyway… I dragged my thoughts back to the present and waited patiently in line as before. And then over the top of the surging beats from my own iPod’ I heard the couple of people behind me chatting away. I politely tried to ignore them, but all of a sudden one of them uttered something so awful my blood turned to ice.
“Yeah,” said the camper of the two, “it’s definitely much more busier isn’t it?”
I fought to control myself at this and, thankfully, won. It would have been so easy to swing round and hit him with my manbag, it really would, but somehow I suspect shouting “for God’s sake, you don’t form a comparative with ‘more’ and a suffix you illiterate moron” in the street would have made me seem somewhat unbalanced.
Or, at least, more unbalanced than normal.
But why is it that comparative and superlative forms are so difficult for people to understand these days? Is it just because grammar hasn’t been taught in schools for years, or has there been some kind of consensus that this sort of mangling of the language is actually fine?
For those of us who took a degree in this sort of thing it’s like a foreign world sometimes it really is.
Posted on March 27, 2008 | Filed Under My So-Called Life, The World we Live In | 7 Comments
Oh For Crying Out Bleeding Loud…
Some of you will be aware of the fact that I was, at the end of January, the victim of telephone banking fraud. Someone had verified they had my bank account details correct by making a small deposit on my account - in Forest Gate of all places - and then rang up Abbey and transferred a substantial sum of money out of my account.
I won’t bore you with the saga - Abbey basically are hopelessly understaffed and overworked as far as I can tell - but it took six weeks all told to get my money refunded and for an account to be made available to me again. (I am so switching accounts once the dust has cleared I tell you.) But what is irritating is the fact that other institutions with whom I have financial dealings aren’t apparently any better.
Whilst I was on holiday for example I started getting phone calls from Amex pointing out that I have missed payments and can I pay them now please? On the first day I said no, and explained why and they seemed quite happy. In fact they unfroze my cards in case I’d need them and made sure the case notes reflected this. This was a good thing and I was mightily impressed by their efforts.
It’s just a shame that no-one at Amex ever read the case notes before giving me the next phone call two days later. Or the one after that. Finally, on my return - once I’d been able to go to the bank and pick up my new card which (naturally) turned up while I was on my way through airport security the week before - they rang up asking me to pay without actually checking whether I had.
In fact I’d beaten them to it by half an hour. And their computers showed that clearly, apparently.
But then yesterday I had to deal with what I later described as “O2 / BT Vision Buggery Bollocks”. A shitty letter from O2, for example, complained I hadn’t paid and my phone was thus restricted. This was a surprise - they were one of direct debits who had acknowledged Abbey’s request to change the details - but it turns out that whilst they acknowledged the details they simply didn’t bother to action them.
BT Vision on the other hand, were given my bank details before I went away because a bill needed paying urgently. I got a new bill yesterday asking for me to make the next payment manually and when I rang them it turned out (after a lengthy time on hold) the details were in the system but whoever had taken them forgot to submit them to the billing department.
And no, I couldn’t pay it there and then because the payments system was down.
I despair I really do. Not so much that the person in question forgot, but that their computer system takes payment details but doesn’t automatically update the people responsible for taking it. The last two months while I’ve tried to sort my life out have basically been one system or process failure after another. Stupid inflexible processes, inefficient bureaucracy, or just simple bloody minded stupidity have probably well and truly shafted my credit record for the next couple of years.
It’s no wonder all these companies are going down the tubes. They either have lax security procedures (I mean, Abbey’s is shockingly poor), or else give credit to people who have no means of paying and then make it stupendously difficult for those of us who can pay to actually do so.
Complete and utter fuckwads, I tell you. Arsewittery in the extreme.
Posted on March 19, 2008 | Filed Under My So-Called Life, The World we Live In | 1 Comment
Did the Earth Move for You?
Apparently an Israeli MP has blamed tolerance of homosexuality for a spate of earthquakes in the Holy Land.
So, I set myself thinking: can sex between men be the cause of such turmoil? The conclusion is obvious: yes - but only if it’s done right.
That said, if it is true, I’m sure it’ll be very reassuring to the Christian right that there are currently no homosexuals to be found in many of the cities around the world such as, say, London and Los Angeles.
Massachusetts will doubtless be a bit worried that some moxen should try to move there, though. They haven’t had an earthquake in quite some time.
Posted on February 22, 2008 | Filed Under The World we Live In | 0 Comments
Hang on…
Is it just me or is there something a little bit odd about getting blog comment spam warning you of the dangers of blog comment spam?
Because I’ve just had some and it really confused me.
Posted on January 25, 2008 | Filed Under Battles with Technology, The World we Live In | 0 Comments
Rucksacks and Wheelie-Cases
Is there any greater evil a person can inflict on their fellow commuters? I think not.
Now, I’ve always harboured a kind of seething resentment towards people who keep their rucksacks on their backs when travelling because they invariably pay no attention to the amount of space it’s taking up behind them. It’s almost as if they completely forget it’s there, slamming it into people as they turn round and so on.
But recently the trend has been towards having those pointlessly tiny mini-suitcases on wheels and I’m beginning to think they hack me off even more. There’s a veritable plague of them round Liverpool Street at the moment, weaving around half-heartedly behind their disinterested owners, tripping people over and even occasionally running over their feet.
(The great thing of course is that when they run over someone’s feet they tend to fall over, greatly annoying the drooling lackwit in charge of the damn thing. But then they do tend to tut and glare and make it look like it’s my fault they weren’t paying attention.)
The other day I also had the great pleasure of being stuck behind some stupid - and I apologise for my use of this word, ladies, but believe me it does apply here - bint who stopped dead at the foot of an escalator as she fought with the suitcase handle. This mainly served to create a huge bottleneck as further, increasingly frantic, passengers accumulated behind her. Then, apparently oblivious to the carnage, she then proceeded to swing the case round behind her, thus causing further mayhem as we scattered to avoid its path.
I’m sure I heard one person spit “stupid bitch” in her general direction and if so I must confess I think the tag was richly deserved.
Of course, my feelings on this are probably unfair since I’m sure there are people out there who have rucksacks and wheelie-cases who are careful, thoughtful, and considerate, and would probably be mortified to have caused even a fraction of such chaos.
But on the whole they do seem to be fairly reliable markers of rabid stupidity. Honestly, people, if you do harbour such a grudge against humanity couldn’t you just become a P.E. teacher and stay out of my way?
Posted on January 23, 2008 | Filed Under The World we Live In | 6 Comments
Loose Chippings
It’s a sad-but-true fact that as a result of all those roadsigns I saw in my youth, I spent a good few years thinking that “Loose Chippings” was an incredibly common place name in England.
Now of course I know better. After all, it would be a silly name for anywhere wouldn’t it?
(Although, it appears that Chipping Sodbury, Penge and Tring are for some reason perfectly acceptable.)
Posted on January 18, 2008 | Filed Under The World we Live In | 2 Comments