// The World we Live In
Rucksacks and Wheelie-Cases
Is there any greater evil a person can inflict on their fellow commuters? I think not.
Now, I’ve always harboured a kind of seething resentment towards people who keep their rucksacks on their backs when travelling because they invariably pay no attention to the amount of space it’s taking up behind them. It’s almost as if they completely forget it’s there, slamming it into people as they turn round and so on.
But recently the trend has been towards having those pointlessly tiny mini-suitcases on wheels and I’m beginning to think they hack me off even more. There’s a veritable plague of them round Liverpool Street at the moment, weaving around half-heartedly behind their disinterested owners, tripping people over and even occasionally running over their feet.
(The great thing of course is that when they run over someone’s feet they tend to fall over, greatly annoying the drooling lackwit in charge of the damn thing. But then they do tend to tut and glare and make it look like it’s my fault they weren’t paying attention.)
The other day I also had the great pleasure of being stuck behind some stupid - and I apologise for my use of this word, ladies, but believe me it does apply here - bint who stopped dead at the foot of an escalator as she fought with the suitcase handle. This mainly served to create a huge bottleneck as further, increasingly frantic, passengers accumulated behind her. Then, apparently oblivious to the carnage, she then proceeded to swing the case round behind her, thus causing further mayhem as we scattered to avoid its path.
I’m sure I heard one person spit “stupid bitch” in her general direction and if so I must confess I think the tag was richly deserved.
Of course, my feelings on this are probably unfair since I’m sure there are people out there who have rucksacks and wheelie-cases who are careful, thoughtful, and considerate, and would probably be mortified to have caused even a fraction of such chaos.
But on the whole they do seem to be fairly reliable markers of rabid stupidity. Honestly, people, if you do harbour such a grudge against humanity couldn’t you just become a P.E. teacher and stay out of my way?
Posted on January 23, 2008 | Filed Under The World we Live In | 6 Comments
Loose Chippings
It’s a sad-but-true fact that as a result of all those roadsigns I saw in my youth, I spent a good few years thinking that “Loose Chippings” was an incredibly common place name in England.
Now of course I know better. After all, it would be a silly name for anywhere wouldn’t it?
(Although, it appears that Chipping Sodbury, Penge and Tring are for some reason perfectly acceptable.)
Posted on January 18, 2008 | Filed Under The World we Live In | 2 Comments
Gay MRSA
Here’s a little story that takes the whole concept of STDs to a new level: a virulent form of MRSA which can be contracted simply by touching.
Sadly, since it has so far been 13 times more prevalent in gay men in San Francisco than in other people, it’s something that seems to be getting known as the “Gay MRSA” which is really annoying - although thankfully BBC News is a little more balanced in its reporting.
I think the thing which annoys me most with the “Gay MRSA” tag is the fact that - like with HIV’s previous status as “the gay disease” - it creates a feeling of complacency in the straight community. And as we all now know, although in HIV’s case the initial stages of the epidemic in the “developed” world were largely restricted to gay men, the reverse is now true. (Interestingly, the earliest cases are now believed to date from as early as 1959 and involve straight people).
But no, calling it “Gay MRSA” is a nice easy piece of tabloid shorthand - no matter what the dangers of lodging that idea in the public consciousness might be.
To be honest, I’d even argue it’s not technically an STD since it’s transmitted through any form of skin-to-skin contact. This means that anyone who has physical contact with anyone is actually at risk. Wrestlers are mentioned in the article - for a spot of balance you understand - but you do have to ask the question: do straight people not shake hands?
There are times I think we should bring back public information films because people seem to be getting increasingly stupid. Trouble is, in affairs like this it’s common sense really that leads the way, so any advice is likely to be a bit KYTV in its content:
If you are a sexually active gay male, or a wrestler, or sexually active gay wrestler, and you are concerned about Gay MRSA…
DO!
- Shower after sex with a good supply of hot water and an antibacterial shower gel.
- Avoid having multiple partners in the same period without washing.
- Check yourself regularly for boils and signs of infection.
DON’T!
- Lie face down in a sauna for three days letting hordes of sweaty strangers have their wicked way with you.
- Take part in a game of Naked Jelly Twister with anyone who has a suppurating skin condition.
- Marinade any boils or sores under a poultice of stale urine and a protective layer of cling-film.
Forewarned is Forearmed!
(That was a blisteringly patronising Public Information Film.)
Needless to say the Christian Right have seized upon this in a big way, missing the point totally.
Bless their little cotton brains.
Posted on January 17, 2008 | Filed Under Health and Fitness, The World we Live In | 0 Comments
Guilty Pleasures?
On an not-unrelated subject to my last post I have been thinking about the term “Guilty Pleasures” and have decided that there’s something about the term which really annoys me.
The thing is, every time I’ve seen it of late it’s been always used in terms of identifying items of popular culture that you like but for some reason feel you shouldn’t. That said, though, I’m not convinced that any examples I’ve seen are really anything to feel guilty about. As I see it, if it’s something you enjoy and it gives you pleasure, why should you feel guilty about it?
Now, admittedly you can take this logic a step too far. I’m sure Peter Sutcliffe enjoyed stoving in the heads of the various ladies he killed, and Jeffrey Dahmer I’m sure likewise got pleasure from killing, dismembering and storing the bodies of young men.
But you know… These are acts where a guilty feeling would genuinely and justly apply. I’m not sure that finding a song, or a TV programme or a magazine which makes you laugh, smile or feel in some way euphoric is really in the same league, somehow.
Really, in these cases the use of a label such as “guilty pleasure” is all about deflecting possible criticism from those who attempt to be arbiters of cool. But, as far as I’m concerned, these people’s pronouncements are not worth anything. They always smack of over-compensation, really; covering up a personal lack of depth with a veneer of cultural snobbery.
So no, I don’t feel guilty about any of the things I enjoy and I don’t see why I should. As far as I’m concerned anyone who has any real depth will have the confidence to freely and joyfully paddle about in the shallows as well as have a proper serious plunge.
Both are good, both are valuable, and in combination will balance you out as a person. And that’s not something to be guilty about at all, in fact it’s something to aspire to.
So ner.
Posted on January 11, 2008 | Filed Under The World we Live In | 3 Comments
No Offense, But…
It seems that BBC Radio 1 has edited the only truly realistic Christmas song “the Fairy Tale of New York” to remove the term “faggot” just in case people are offended by it.
Now much as I don’t want to become one of those Daily Mail “it’s political correctness gone mad” types, I can’t help but feel it’s a bit ridiculous in this case.
(And in any case, surely terms of abuse are supposed to be offensive? If they weren’t there wouldn’t be much point in them would there?)
Posted on December 18, 2007 | Filed Under The World we Live In | 0 Comments
Validation at last!
The Evening Standard have reviewed my mate Rob’s pub The Vauxhall Griffin rather positively (and rightly so, it’s rather fine).
But I’m particularly gratified by the fact that the quiz he and I run there got a mention.
Admittedly it was a one-word description, but as far as adjectives go I think “lively” isn’t a bad one at all.
Posted on November 25, 2007 | Filed Under My So-Called Life, The World we Live In | 0 Comments
A Conversation Overheard On the Train…
So, I popped down to Canterbury last weekend to help my Dad celebrate his 61st birthday - or, as he put it, the fortieth anniversary of his 21st birthday - and thus the early hours of Saturday morning saw me on a train bound from Victoria with a bunch of other Kent-bound individuals.
It was a dull journey, it always is. Well… actually, I say dull. Travel is generally not a favourite pastime, but of a bright autumn morning the scenery rushing past was quite pretty I suppose. And there wasn’t much in the way of pretty males to ogle en route so I was content with that.
But at Gillingham (a town not known for its classiness) a young couple boarded the train and sat in one of the seats diagonally opposite me. She was in leggings, needless to say, and he was extremely casually dressed, but quite cute in a sort of “could do with a decent skincare regime” sort of a way. Together though it must be said there was certainly a certain kind of crack-addict chic about them.
They were chatting. I was plugged into The Device so wasn’t aware of their conversation until we passed Selling and began to approach Canterbury. I duly unplugged myself and began gathering my things together. Idly, as one does, listening in to what’s going on around me in case there was anything interesting to be had.
Oh boy.
At first, you see, I thought they were talking about their jobs. There definitely was that sort of “and Janice in accounts said this, can you believe it?” sort of vibe to the conversation. And they were talking about money, particularly how she’d been given a hard time over it and how, or so I thought, she’d finally been made an offer which she’d thought was unacceptable and she’d had to think about it for a bit.
It was only as the train pulled into the station that one final fact suddenly changed the whole nature of their conversation as it finally became clear to me that what they’d been planning to offer her hadn’t actually been a payrise at all.
It was a custodial sentence.
The home counties really aren’t what they used to be, you know…
Posted on November 8, 2007 | Filed Under The World we Live In | 0 Comments
Don’t Lose Our Heads…
Was watching the classic “Carry On Don’t Lose Your Head” last night with an - ahem - gentleman caller, when part of the script caught my attention.
Robespierre: So - it seems the English have struck again!
Camembert: Well, they say that’s what the English are good at: striking!
(Or something along those lines.)
It just struck me that something which was probably quite a solid piece of satire for its time seems to have become rather more apposite again. What with Tube Strikes, Postal Strikes and now BBC staff threatening to do the same there was a certain resonance to those lines I hadn’t felt before.
I’ll nail my colours to the mast here: I don’t like strikes. It’s essentially emotional blackmail and does strike me as being remarkably counter-productive. In the case of BBC staff, there’s a £2billion pound shortfall of revenue - do they really think that forcing the BBC not to make redundancies will help? And in the case of the postal workers it does seem largely to be a “we’ve been getting away with all sorts of dodgy or just extremely lucrative practices for years and you’re trying to clamp down - how dare you” type thing.
In both cases you have companies struggling to adapt to a changing world of work where greater flexibility and leaner processes are the only way to stop them going under. I can’t see how striking and essentially making your employer cripple itself is a victory for anyone, because at some point they’ll just go under sure as night follows day (and vice versa).
Not that I think in either case some savings couldn’t be found elsewhere, but at some point people would have to go and inconveniencing the many for the benefit of the few is something that in this day and age the general public seems to find less sympathy for than it would have done in the sixties.
But there we are. As ever, time will tell. It always does.
Posted on October 19, 2007 | Filed Under The World we Live In | 3 Comments
Not So Liberal After All..?
So Sir Menzies Campbell has been forced out of office following a fairly high profile whispering campaign (well, shouting campaign really) against him which has left me with a rather bad taste in my mouth regarding my preferred - out of a bad bunch - party.
What’s worse is that the image it projected was not only harking back to Conservative leadership battles which let’s be honest left that party somewhat crippled for ages (”I’m Not Going!”, “I’m Not Going!”, “You’re Going!”, “I’m Going!”) but, as it turns out, the two front-runners for succeeding him remind me - at least in terms of look - of Conservative MPs.
It’s something about the city financier look. It makes me want to slap them and tax their bonuses to high fuck.
Plus there’s that age old phrase in the Indie today. “Mr. Clegg is married with a wife and two children.” And frankly that sort of comment is the sort of thing I’d expect of a Tory leadership bid: “Look, he’s happily heterosexual with a family and that’s what’s important, right?”
Oh well, we shall see. My confidence is shaken somewhat, though.
I may have to go Green.
Posted on October 16, 2007 | Filed Under The World we Live In | 3 Comments
Stop It At Once!
Apologies to anyone I know who recognises themselves in this but, well… tough!
I like books. I like reading. I like being able to do so when I’m on the move. I read yesterday on the train back from Manchester, I read most days when I’m on the tube, and I know many people like to do the same.
This is, without a shadow of a doubt, a good thing.
But please, fellow travellers, humans, countrymen… would you please for fuck’s sake STOP when you switch to walking?
There are few things more irritating than trying to navigate round some complete prick who has their nose buried in a book or newspaper, with them somehow managing to remain completely oblivious to the world around them and thus weaving erratically through the crowds.
Pay some fucking attention to the world around you, please - if only for your own safety! Because one day someone may just try dropping a banana skin in front of you to see what, if anything, happens.
Not me, though, obviously.
(I can pay people to do it instead.)
Posted on October 8, 2007 | Filed Under My So-Called Life, The World we Live In | 1 Comment