In a shock announcement the BBC has finally announced plans for a new home-grown series of Doctor Who, quashing all rumours of American finance deals and animated series.
Top BBC executives have been in high-level (fourteenth floor) drinks parties for six months to discuss casting and general production details and have at last issued a press release naming transvestite comedian Eddie Izzard as the ninth television Doctor Who.
Costume details are as yet unconfirmed but Izzard himself has expressed a desire to dress in designer clothes, including PVC trousers and Jean-Paul Gaultier jacket. A move from Davisons frock coat to an even more eccentric frock has also been mooted. In a move reminiscent of Patrick Troughtons recorder, Izzards Doctor will attempt to play the clarinet.
Six stories have been planned one of which may marry material from an old William Hartnell adventure to new footage starring Izzard using technology which the BBC will be last to begin using. The new story The Mascara of St. Bartholomews Eve, may feature the ninth Doctor giving Dodo fashion tips before she enters the TARDIS for the first time. These will be completely ignored. A story entitled The Basque of Mandragora is also in the planning stages, as is a Foundation trilogy which the press release goes on to say will feature three linked stories. It is hoped by many Who fans that these will be loosely based on Isaac Asimovs most famous series of novels. Sponsorship by Revlon is coincidental according to an inside source, allegedly a senior hygiene technician.
Media reaction to the news has been wide and apathetic. Some observers have praised the casting as inspired, highlighting the Doctors alien and asexual nature, after being sorely dented by the on screen snog in the Fox telemovie last year. Others have commented that the BBC seeks to gain much needed credibility by casting Izzard in a mainstream BBC series. BBC worldwide has moved swiftly to crush any rumours of Doctor Who make-up kits being brought out onto the market. A spokesman for Mr Izzard has said nothing remotely interesting.
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